Sleep! Where is Glorious Sleep?

The first two nights falling in bed sober versus passing out in bed I slept a total of three hours. Racing thoughts prevented me from sleeping at all the first night. The second night I managed to sleep for about three hours but it was very restless sleep. On day three I finally fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion until I awoke at about 3 AM. Oh no! Not this again.

I managed to calm myself by recognizing that even if I was not able to sleep much I would not be hung over in the morning. Absolutely nothing worse than waking up at three in the morning and knowing you are going to be hung over in the morning and have to go to work. That always ratcheted up my anxiety level to the point falling back asleep was impossible and guaranteed I would feel totally crappy the next day.

I am now sleeping soundly for about five hours but still waking between 3 and 4 AM. But I am not letting it rattle me. I go to bed prepared. I have my kindle on my bed stand and when I wake up I read. I refuse to just lay there and start with the racing thoughts. No way I could do that if I was drinking. Right now I am reading Clare Pooley’s Sober Diaries. Eventually I know a normal sleep pattern will return but until then, I can handle this.